Russia Busts Greenpeace Drug Running Plutonium Smuggling Spies

Cpt. Paul Watson

Cpt. Paul Watson

by Captain Paul Watson / Facebook

The Russians have found evidence of every crime possible on the Greenpeace ship Arctic Sunrise.

Drugs, plutonium, child porn, weapons of mass destruction, shark fins, pirated copies of Homeland, and espionage equipment have all been found on the Greenpeace ship Arctic Sunrise.

Well so far only the drugs and the espionage equipment but the other stuff will be forthcoming as the meticulous search continues.

Apparently the dastardly oil drilling hating pirates of Greenpeace had a larger agenda than previously thought. Their objective seems to have been to undermine the basic freedoms and moral character of the Russian people.

The Russians have decided to frame Greenpeace in such a blatantly ridiculous manner just because they know they can get away with it. At the same time they are sending a message to environmentalists around the world. “Don’t oppose our oil industry or else.”

The Dutch have responded by arresting a Russian diplomat for child abuse. It appears that Greenpeace has sparked a new cold war and the situation is chilling rapidly.

Vladimir Putin said that the Greenpeacers are not pirates but his prosecutors think otherwise. If Shell Oil is calling the shots they don’t have to listen to Putin. After all Shell Oil has more power than the Russian President and they don’t have to worry about public relations because everyone buys oil, and they know the Russians will take the heat.

The truth is that Greenpeace ships are well aware of the risks of drugs being found onboard and the potential for drugs being planted. For this reason the Arctic Sunrise had a sniffer dog search the ship in the Netherlands before departure.

No drugs found on any ship for four decades but where Greenpeace avoided previous searches by other countries, the Russians knew they just had to open the ship’s medical safe.

Of course there are drugs like morphine in the ships’ safe. Every ship carries medical supplies.

The accusation that Greenpeace is carrying espionage equipment is ludicrous. Who would Greenpeace be spying for? The CIA, MI5, maybe SPECTRE.

Cameras, recorders, GPS, radar, Sat communications systems are most likely all the evidence needed for this silliness.

I will not be surprised to see them find plutonium under the deck plates in the engine room or child porn on the ship’s computer.

The truth is that the Russians are now displaying the same Stalinist bullshit that they used against the women of Pussy Riot.

Last month a $100 million super submarine yacht docked in Auckland, New Zealand. It is owned by one of Russia’s nouveau billionaires and it is this group of greedy resource extractors who now run the new Russia. Russian billionaires need to make sure that nothing threatens the life styles they have grown accustomed to.

The message is clear. Do not interfere with the oligarchy’s right to get rich at the expense of the environment and the Russian people.

It is slightly ironic that the oil company allied with the Russian government is Royal Dutch Shell. Despite this the Dutch government is working hard to secure the release of the Dutch flagged Arctic Sunrise and the 30 international crew of the Greenpeace ship.

This silliness with drug charges does send a dire message to the rest of the world. Russia intends to make an example of the Greenpeace crew and traditional Russian stubbornness will resist Western pleas for their release.

Meanwhile the Russians have given their prisoners some uplifting literature to read like all the completes works of Dostoevsky made less depressing by the fact that the words are in Russian. Thus only the couple of Russian speakers on the crew are potential suicide risks.

As the world rallies to the defense of the Arctic 30 in Murmansk, the Russians look for new ways to embarrass themselves as the oil companies continue to drill.

Sarah Palin is cheering them on. After all she can see them hard at work as she chant’s “drill baby drill.”

“Yes sir, right outside my kitchen window. Go Ruskies.” She said in response to the situation.

“We never thought that these foreign Greenies would be carrying weapons of mass destraction,” said Soviet bureaucrat Vassily Vasolinova of the Russian Ministry of Ridiculous Prosecutions and Silly Accusations. “They are a serious threat to the security of Russian values. We have a right to despoil the Arctic, it is ours to do with as we like.”

The Greenpeace drug running spies are not expected to be released soon.

A spokesman for the United States said they would like to help but that they are currently closed for business dealing with their own silly issues.

Tags: , ,